One of the biggest complaints I hear from women about their partners is how men ask for sex.
Specifically, women become frustrated with juvenile advances and demanding requests for sex.
Juvenile advances, for example, are those you remember from high school: yawning to place your arm around your girlfriend or immaturely asking, “Do you wanna make out?”
Unfortunately, this approach is all too common as it's often role modeled. Joey on the TV show "Friends" was known for smiling at women and saying, “How you doin'?” And as Ron Burgundy on the movie "Anchorman" simply put it: “I want to be on you.”
These attempts appear humorous on the big screen but won't get you far in the bedroom after a while.
Women attribute these funny yet juvenile attempts to a lack of confidence, which itself can be a turnoff. I also hear women say they feel like a mom when their partner acts sexually immature.
But what's worse than prompting your partner to feel like a parent? Demanding sex from her.
If sex becomes a demand it will lack meaning, connection and a desire to be together. These are important aspects to intimacy that both partners usually crave in a relationship.
Guys: Consider the last five times you asked your partner to be intimate.
· What specifically did you say?
· If sex is routine, how did it start? Pointing to the clock? Or offering a massage?
· Did you immaturely give “the look” that represents you're turned on?
Next, evaluate what happened. Did she seem intrigued or annoyed and/or obligated? Based on your answer, try a new technique, or better yet, ask her how she'd like to be approached.
Acknowledge that you understand men and women become sexually aroused differently, and you want to cater to her unique needs. If the two of you can begin a conversation about your sexual interests, better sex will often follow.
Check back next Tuesday when I address the second most annoying thing men do in the bedroom.