As Nebraskans weigh whom to send to Washington as a U.S. senator, World-Herald humor columnist Brad Dickson asks the candidates the tough questions. Today, State Treasurer Don Stenberg.
Question: In college, you detassled corn. If elected, do you think there's any chance that work ethic may rub off on the rest of Congress?
Answer: Well, I would certainly hope so. Similar to detasseling, the work I would like to see them do is pull out all of the wasteful federal programs so the private sector can grow.
Q: In 25,000 words or less, what's wrong with Washington, D.C.?
A: I can do it in five words: “They spend too much money!”
Q: You've spoken out against bailouts. That was before the current Kansas City Royals season began. Have you changed your opinion?
A: No, it's the principle of the thing.
Q: In requesting an end to bailouts, you're basically calling on Americans to be responsible for their own actions. Doesn't this fly in the face of who Americans are in 2012?
A: No. Most Americans are responsible for their own actions. They just don't want to have to pay for other people's mistakes.
Q: You hold two degrees from Harvard. If elected, will you promise to occasionally correct the grammar of other senators after they speak?
A: Their grammar really isn't the problem. It's how they vote. I'll work on correcting that.
Q: Any truth to the rumor that you're going to copyright the phrase “lifelong conservative” since you use it so often?
A: Actually the phrase is “genuine, lifelong conservative.” Excellent suggestion, though. I will have my lawyers look into it.
Q: Why should someone reading this vote for Don Stenberg?
A: Because I'm the genuine, lifelong conservative.
Find Dickson's daily humor column at Omaha.com/Dickson