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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Bob Kerrey has purchased a home in Omaha. How about that - a man so driven with blind ambition to hold office again that he's willing to pay Omaha property taxes.
* OPS is conducting a national search for a new superintendent. There will be no email applications accepted. I'm not sure why.
* In the previous superintendent search, OPS just declared what's called a "scholastic mulligan."
* Omaha has a new sports talk radio station. I hope this will solve the shortage of sports programming on the Omaha radio dial. I was thinking about this while listening to a replay of the McMillan Magnet school JV field hockey game.
* Bidding is under way to have lunch with Warren Buffett. Last year's winning bid was $2.62 million, and the meal was at a New York City restaurant. Which goes to show that even people who pay $2.62 million for lunch don't want to deal with the Omaha restaurant tax.
* Early bidding this year has been slow. Sure, a lot of people with that kind of money already spent it on that Obama $2.6 million per plate fundraising dinner.
* In the Wisconsin recall election, the state's voters have spoken: They're going to replace Gov. Scott Walker with a giant block of cheese.
* After candidate Tom Barrett gave his concession speech in the Wisconsin recall election, he was slapped by a woman. Nobody deserves to be slapped after a concession speech, although Newt Gingrich came pretty close.
* Say what you want about politics in Wisconsin, but don't say it lacks passion.
* Bill Clinton called for extending the Bush tax cuts. So the 2016 Democratic primary election pitting Hillary Clinton vs. Joe Biden is officially under way!
* President Obama presented Bob Dylan with the Presidential Medal of Freedom at the White House. In order to understand Dylan, Obama needed more translators than at the U.N. summit.
* Michelle Obama showed off the White House vegetable garden. Check it out while you've got the chance. If Mitt Romney is elected, he plans to nuke all the veggies and put in an oil derrick.
* Obama actually plucked a few vegetables to prepare for that night's $800 per carrot dinner.
* Usain Bolt just recorded a season-best 9.76-second time in the 100 meters. That mark was broken hours later by Mitt Romney trying to get away from Donald Trump.
* President Obama is now spelling out his economic plan via Twitter. The big problem? What to do with the unused 123 characters.
* Former Louisiana Gov. Buddy Roemer has dropped out of the GOP race for president. Which came as a shock to Mrs. Buddy Roemer, who didn't even know he was in the race.
* Britney Spears said she likes to play golf for the ice-cold beers and the fun outfits. John Daly told her, "You too?"
* Gold medal-winning gymnast Shawn Johnson has retired at age 20 to give way to younger gymnasts. The new favorite in the women's all-around is a Romanian embryo.
* The Major League Baseball draft is 40 rounds. That's when you know a draft goes on too long - in time, it approaches the length of a Rod Blagojevich prison sentence.